ToughChoices,
My counselor told me that I would know when I've had enough, and nothing in the world could change my mind at that point. Sounds like you've reached the end of your rope. I wish the very best for you and the first thing you definitely need to do is see an attorney ASAP. Your AH is just getting started with his ranting and quacking. Now that you've decided to remove yourself from the situation, you certainly don't have to follow his lead anymore. I'm sure that he is threatening you. That's what they do. You need facts right now, and you're certainly not going to get those from your AH. Take care. Too bad your AH couldn't give up his one night a week. I'm all too familiar with that. My AH was getting wasted once every three weeks or so for a long time. That alone wasn't so terrible. It was the mindset he had while he was active. Hurt our marriage big time. He lived in resentment 24/7 and I was at the top of the list.
BTW, I'm glad to see how many here were able to get physical custody of their children.