He's desperate. I have to stay strong.
When I left he said I was blowing things out of proportion.
The next day he said that this was all my fault. He wasn't going to make things easy for me.
Today he says please give me another chance. No more alcohol. Period.
Talk about all over the map!
I'm going to say, "I want some space. I'm not trying to rush this decision, but I don't want to live with you right now."
I hate to upset him - part of me wants to sugarcoat the situation and reassure him that I think everything will work out if he gets sober, but I will not allow myself to think/speak in such a way.
So far, he has not wanted sobriety. He has wanted to keep the family that he loves, while continuing to indulge in the alcohol that he loves.
I'm not asking him to move out in order to orchestrate his "bottom" or make him "see the light".
I simply want peace. His choices are up to him. I don't want him to quit for me - I'm trying to leave that adolescent princess fantasy behind.
He can quit if he wants to.
Whether I'm there or not.
He'll try to tell me otherwise, but I'm not buying it.
His sobriety is not my responsibility. Having a clean house and warm dinner and good conversation has not successfully kept him sober, so far - it just makes me feel like I'm getting the raw end of the deal. I give my all - he gives what he can - it's not enough.
Thanks for letting me rant.
-TC