He's desperate. I have to stay strong.
Yield beautiful changes
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,695
He's desperate. I have to stay strong.
When I left he said I was blowing things out of proportion.
The next day he said that this was all my fault. He wasn't going to make things easy for me.
Today he says please give me another chance. No more alcohol. Period.
Talk about all over the map!
I'm going to say, "I want some space. I'm not trying to rush this decision, but I don't want to live with you right now."
I hate to upset him - part of me wants to sugarcoat the situation and reassure him that I think everything will work out if he gets sober, but I will not allow myself to think/speak in such a way.
So far, he has not wanted sobriety. He has wanted to keep the family that he loves, while continuing to indulge in the alcohol that he loves.
I'm not asking him to move out in order to orchestrate his "bottom" or make him "see the light".
I simply want peace. His choices are up to him. I don't want him to quit for me - I'm trying to leave that adolescent princess fantasy behind.
He can quit if he wants to.
Whether I'm there or not.
He'll try to tell me otherwise, but I'm not buying it.
His sobriety is not my responsibility. Having a clean house and warm dinner and good conversation has not successfully kept him sober, so far - it just makes me feel like I'm getting the raw end of the deal. I give my all - he gives what he can - it's not enough.
Thanks for letting me rant.
-TC
The next day he said that this was all my fault. He wasn't going to make things easy for me.
Today he says please give me another chance. No more alcohol. Period.
Talk about all over the map!
I'm going to say, "I want some space. I'm not trying to rush this decision, but I don't want to live with you right now."
I hate to upset him - part of me wants to sugarcoat the situation and reassure him that I think everything will work out if he gets sober, but I will not allow myself to think/speak in such a way.
So far, he has not wanted sobriety. He has wanted to keep the family that he loves, while continuing to indulge in the alcohol that he loves.
I'm not asking him to move out in order to orchestrate his "bottom" or make him "see the light".
I simply want peace. His choices are up to him. I don't want him to quit for me - I'm trying to leave that adolescent princess fantasy behind.
He can quit if he wants to.
Whether I'm there or not.
He'll try to tell me otherwise, but I'm not buying it.
His sobriety is not my responsibility. Having a clean house and warm dinner and good conversation has not successfully kept him sober, so far - it just makes me feel like I'm getting the raw end of the deal. I give my all - he gives what he can - it's not enough.
Thanks for letting me rant.
-TC
When I left he said I was blowing things out of proportion.
The next day he said that this was all my fault. He wasn't going to make things easy for me.
Today he says please give me another chance. No more alcohol. Period.
Talk about all over the map!
I'm going to say, "I want some space. I'm not trying to rush this decision, but I don't want to live with you right now."
I hate to upset him - part of me wants to sugarcoat the situation and reassure him that I think everything will work out if he gets sober, but I will not allow myself to think/speak in such a way.
So far, he has not wanted sobriety. He has wanted to keep the family that he loves, while continuing to indulge in the alcohol that he loves.
I'm not asking him to move out in order to orchestrate his "bottom" or make him "see the light".
I simply want peace. His choices are up to him. I don't want him to quit for me - I'm trying to leave that adolescent princess fantasy behind.
He can quit if he wants to.
Whether I'm there or not.
He'll try to tell me otherwise, but I'm not buying it.
His sobriety is not my responsibility. Having a clean house and warm dinner and good conversation has not successfully kept him sober, so far - it just makes me feel like I'm getting the raw end of the deal. I give my all - he gives what he can - it's not enough.
Thanks for letting me rant.
-TC
The next day he said that this was all my fault. He wasn't going to make things easy for me.
Today he says please give me another chance. No more alcohol. Period.
Talk about all over the map!
I'm going to say, "I want some space. I'm not trying to rush this decision, but I don't want to live with you right now."
I hate to upset him - part of me wants to sugarcoat the situation and reassure him that I think everything will work out if he gets sober, but I will not allow myself to think/speak in such a way.
So far, he has not wanted sobriety. He has wanted to keep the family that he loves, while continuing to indulge in the alcohol that he loves.
I'm not asking him to move out in order to orchestrate his "bottom" or make him "see the light".
I simply want peace. His choices are up to him. I don't want him to quit for me - I'm trying to leave that adolescent princess fantasy behind.
He can quit if he wants to.
Whether I'm there or not.
He'll try to tell me otherwise, but I'm not buying it.
His sobriety is not my responsibility. Having a clean house and warm dinner and good conversation has not successfully kept him sober, so far - it just makes me feel like I'm getting the raw end of the deal. I give my all - he gives what he can - it's not enough.
Thanks for letting me rant.
-TC
No reason to sugarcoat or soften his landing as they say.
Your motives seem sound and genuine and based in reality, you're doing this FOR YOU and the CHILDREN.
You are over believeing the "just one more last chance" crap.
You've simply decided enough is enough.....your decision seems very well thought out for all the right reasons. I don't see how you can go wrong.
I believe this is what they mean when they say "your recovery is showing"
Good job and God love ya. I think you will be fine.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I don't think your post was a vent at all--rather an affirmation of a well-thought-out and rational decision; a decision to make a life-changing move for all the right reasons for everyone involved. Well done.
Actions. That's all that matters. At one point after our separation, my husband was telling me how bad it was for him, how much he missed the kids, how sorry he was. I was so done with listening to that yet again, I said "I cannot hear your words because your actions are drowning them out."
L
L
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: canada
Posts: 166
I agree your note doesn't sound like a vent to me at all, just clear concise communication. You've stated your needs clearly and now it's up to him to show where he is at with actions no quacking! Hang in there, we are here for you - K
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