I appreciate all the advice/support.
Bernadette:
My son is three (4 in October) and an absolute doll. He adores his father. I'm trying to be honest about what's going on without giving him too many troubling details. Right now we're at my parents (his favorite place in the world), so he's having a ball.
Spiritual Seeker:
I have no intention of giving my AH 50/50 custody of our child. It would be bad news for everyone involved. A child needs a stable home and people to depend on, and my husband, though he loves our son very much, has not demonstrated himself to be consistently stable or dependable. He is a good father, and I want him to be involved, but some weird half and half scenario is not on my agenda.
I'm a little bit bummed that he's giving me the tough act. I shouldn't be surprised, but I was kind of hoping that we could civilly discuss the "marital rearrangement" (as I like to call it) with an eye towards what would be best for our child and easiest on each other.
We've been seeing a wonderful couples' therapist, and our communication skills have really improved over the last few months. Sadly, he's having a hard time applying them to this situation.
I saw a lawyer a little while back to get an idea of our financial situation and what I could expect as far as custody was concerned. I will give her a call to get some help figuring out where to go with this.
The confusing part of all this is that I left when things were pretty good:
No one was hitting me or screaming at me.
My child was not in danger.
No one was arrested.
No one lost their job.
There was no discovery of another woman.
I actually feel very loved by this man. He is good and loving. I want to be with him. But he loves me on HIS schedule - it isn't enough.
I just wasn't satisfied with things continuing as they were, and I didn't see any changes occurring to remedy the situation. I really don't want to be cruel to him, or even inconvenience him all that much. I just don't want to keep doing what we were doing. He's having a hard time understanding.
Thanks again for the support!
-TC