Thanks for the hugs - I need 'em!
I'm all over the map emotionally today. I know that this is what I want, but occasionally I feel overwhelmed with the enormity of the decision.
I've loved this man for a long time.
Life is going to look very different for me now.
I talked to AH briefly last night, telling him some of my thoughts on our split (I'll stay in the house with the kiddo (make the transition less difficult on the little one), AH can find an apartment, we'll divide up parenting duties, etc...).
He's having none of it.
Says if I want to leave him then I'll have to be the one to move out. He'll stay in the house with the kiddo - he wants 50/50 custody. 3 days one week, 4 days the next.
I don't think he really understands the kind of responsibility that a true 50/50 split would entail - plus - he's never even really liked our house. It would REALLY surprise me if this is what he actually wants.
Part of me is hoping this is all just a bunch of bluster to freak me out. Maybe he's trying to make it difficult so that I'll change my mind and come back. Anyone have any experience here?
He told me to think long and hard about this decision, because the last time I decided on a lark that he needed to move out it ended up costing us $3000.
Funny how he made no mention of his liter of vodka/day - rehab stint that provoked that $3000 whim of mine. I guess you've got to laugh.
Maybe owning his part in this whole mess is just too painful for him.
I know that I play a part in this, as well, but I absolutely refuse to roll around in all the guilt that he wants to hand me. I know what I have to do.
We'll see what tomorrow brings.
-TC