Oh Rose.
I'll let the al-anon pros give you the advice because I'm new here.
But I can tell you that I've been there. (my mom) I even recall getting made at my step-dad for bringing up a time when my mom was drunk...I guess I was so starved for equilbrium, and I just didn't want to upset my mom. Like I thought I was protecting her. That if I stuck up for her maybe she wouldn't feel alienated...was this hoping that it would make her stop drinking? I don't know. But I do know that when they drink its hard to be closer to them....your son probably just wanted everything to be fine and by ignoring it...its a quick fix. I would give a look to my step-dad and tell him "you KNOW she's like this"! (implying: so don't say anything and rock the boat). I am not going to do this anymore. I'm not sure when I go home again how I am going to handle it, but I know I am not going to keep pretending that its okay. I will not attack her, but I am not going to lie anymore. Its only supporting her. I think you were right by making a point about his drinking again. It gives him accountability and shows that you are not going to be passive and support his drinking.
I am proud that you were strong enough to do this, even though your son didn't support you. Don't feel alone.
Luvnallthat,
Grey.