Originally Posted by
zencat 
My very first meaningful exposure to recovery was in a county run addiction treatment program. I sat with my counselor and we developed a personalized treatment plan. I'll never forget how empowering that felt. That set the stage for what direction I would go in recovery ever since.
I have a feeling I won't be able to do this alone, even though I'm somewhat of a loner. A huge reason I began to drink and continued to do so was self-medication. LOL, look where that's gotten me today! I can remember going to talk to a psychiatrist when I was still in college. Everything's a little fuzzy upstairs, but that must have been when I realized I had a drinking problem and I needed to do something about all the crap going on it my head. I know this is going to sound really stupid, but after talking to him I got scared off. I asked some questions and he admitted that it could take a long time to find the right drug or drugs to help (By the way, I had been going to therapy sessions before). I thanked him for his time and left.
These days I pretty much keep to myself...I'm working on breaking down the tall wall of separation. If I come to find that I absolutely cannot carry on without alcohol, I will get help. Right now I'm going to see where my depression is at while sober. It's so hard to judge one's true mental state when one is mucked up all the time.