Originally Posted by
dancinggirl 
THat's what's so weird about all this to me! I don't drink because of stress, or upset, or anything like that. I don't have any reason at all TO drink! Yet I want to so badly! I have a perfect damn life...seriously, I have great family, good friends, a job I love...and I still sooooo desperately think that there's no way I can continue not drinking for much longer.
I do agree with you, Isaiah, about the collective experience. It really has helped me get to this amount of days (only 39) by being in that Class of July group. I just dont know how many I can add on.
I know. I think reasons/triggers are played up too much sometimes. We tend to forget that sometimes we would just drink for the heck of it, because drinking around memorable things is well... more memorable. There's no anchor to put the day-to-day, "just because" drinks
If nothing else, there is a pattern/a habit. I have this funny habit that I only smoke when I'm in a car. I could go forever without a cigarette so long as I never drive anywhere. I can be madly stressed, but still not even think about having one (unless the stress is road rage.)
I don't like uncertainty myself. The idea of never drinking again scares me like the notion of marriage and choosing a career scares me. I'd rather just say that I'm sober now, and that I have no *plan* of a next drink.
That is still intimidating, but it at least has the possibility of some good. I believe that being sober will get easier, overall. Maybe a little rollercoaster day-to-day, but with the whole trend being sober=nice. I already know for sure what a commitment to drink entails, and I have to remind myself all the reasons why I'd rather have a little uncertainty than the certainty of going through constant jobs, courts, hospitals and relationships.
I wish you the best.