He's your Ex right? I dont know if this will help or not but I will tell you something about me I havent had the nerve to repeat for a long time.
I met my ex husband when I was 17. We divorced when I was 34. I had never been with another man. I met a man when I went back to study and he was 15yrs older than me. We were going out but something didnt seem right to me (you know those vibes you get but youre not sure). To cut it short, a male friend of my ex's visited my home while we were there and the next minute the guy I was dating starting abusing him and kicked him out. I felt sick, he asked if I was cheating him and the screaming just freaked me out. I found out later he was actually living with another woman and an alcoholic.
So my point - I have been so embarrassed about this I still freaks me out when I think about it. I was an intelligent woman, a mother, protector of my kids and I went out with a lunny bin. How could I be so stupid I thought,, letting someone manipulate me like that. I kicked him out that day and never saw him again. I found it incredibly hard to trust men after that but I learnt that it was him, not all men. I didnt need to know the whys about him, I just got rid of him. Its about finding someone who you can admire and respects you for you.
Maybe this is how you are feeling but more so. What I did was learn from this big time. OK he did this to you and now you have to let it go. Its not your fault, you were just too trusting. Know you are better than the past and grow yourself. If you have a picture of him put it on the floor and jump on it 50 times and tell yourself its over. Haha I just thought Id throw that one in.