Katie- way to set your boundaries and to detach.
Sounds like you are becoming healthier in your choices in the difficult situation of being the mother of a grown-up man/child addict.
They will manipulate + take advantage if we let them.
I too refuse to let the chaos of my son's addiction cause chaos in my own life and home.
Mental chaos is a tougher one to keep at bay, but with work on our life and spiritual growth it becomes easier.