Hi Baby
Not that long ago I use to ask the same questions. In my own mind I needed at that time to know the answers but life is full of unanswered questions therefore, I choose to accept just that.
There are families with children who suffer with all sorts of disabilities, diseases etc. My father was terribly sick growing up and died from neumonia. My nephew had cronic ADD, my family has had much cancer and much alcoholism.
I guess what I am saying is many things affect our lives but it is how we choose to handle it or live with it that matters. The grief that one can inflict on another can be cruel but at the end of the day you can walk away and just say - its ok to be me and its ok to say no. Its hard when we love someone and I had to weigh up the love compared to my sanity. Sanity won!