Disease or Weak Sole?
All weekend I was thinking about all the hard times/pain, I went through with my exALBF and the whole relationship. I even cried for a while and got so upset. I feel weak that I am still not fully over this. When will these memories disappear?
I decided to go to a retreat in Sept to get help and release all this pain for the last time. However, I still need answers so I began to read some threads on the alcoholism link and asked some of them who are still active why they cheat/lie etc. So many read my tread but only a few were brave enough to answer it. Some of the responses were comments like; their mind tells that is ok to cheat/lie/steel. They know it is wrong but they cannot control it. Most said they wish they could stop it. (Whether it would be sex, lies, steeling, verbal abuse etc……) One said for me to RUN RUN RUN, why be involved with a total loser. Most of the people on that link called alcoholism a disease. However, to me a disease is something that you would want to get rid right? Say, you had cancer or diabetes; you would do everything to help yourself to get well wouldn’t you? So if it is a disease then why don’t they all get help for it?
I really would love to know if this is really a disease or just an addiction that they developed over the years because they can’t deal with life…Some others on that link also said that when they drink they can do whatever they wan to, treat people anyway they want to and blame it on being drunk. One said when he got sober he had to take responsibility now. Another said that being sober bores them and they do not know what to do with their free time……. Another said God has nothing to do with recovery…… I am so angry reading some of these statements. I suffered so much by the hand of an alcoholic, to me I feel more and more like they hind behind this “so called” illness to hind from LIFE and take down others in their path.
Maybe these people unfortunately were born a weak sole and we call is alcoholism!