Troubledone,
I can't add much more than what everyone else has said, and they have all said it really well. I pray for you, that you find peace and serenity. That you are comfortable with setting new boundaries and sticking to them. I know it will be hard but sounds like you know you have to protect yourself going forward.
Much of the same things I need to work on with my AS.
What amazes me is how addicts can pass UAs??? How can put any faith in anything if they are required to take the UAs and seem to pass them?