Update on us
Well, AH came home from rehab yesterday. I went in the morning to pick him up and support him in the "coffee cup hanging ceremony" (they hang their cup and in a year they come back. If they were sober for the year, they take it home, it not, it stays and it is a yearly event that continues. What made the hair stand up on my neck is the "special cups" one one wall with dates attached. These were addicts that died before their year was up because of their addictions).
So, AH is ver much the introvert. I was shocked and oh so proud to hear him make his speach. He had a clarity and calmness I have not seen, well, I don't think I have ever seen it. I was so proud. He has worked so hard. He has really put the effort in for his future too. He got his sponsor on the outside, he has his meetings set up, he enrolled in outpatient classes and has a therapist as well. Additionally, I have begun to get healthy too. I have my meetings set up, I have scheduled my therapist, I have my books (codependency no more, beyond codependency and an addict in the family, plus my 12 steps books). As a family, we will be continuing to go to family day on Sundays at the rehab were everyone pitches in for a bar-b-que and there is family sessions.
I haven't felt this peaceful and happy for a long time. Even though I am happy for AH, I am more happy for me. I now have the tools and the right mindset to make myself healthy and stop my obsession over him. I treated myself yesterday to a bunch of new plants and flowers to make over my entire front garden/flower beds. For the first time in years, I am truly taking care of myself and learning to love myself. I am taking care of myself emotionally, financially, spiritually and physically. I am setting myself free of obsessive behavior and obsessive thoughts as they are the root of my sickness of being a codependent.
Today, I am happy. Today, I am healthy. Today, I love me.:ghug3