Originally Posted by
CatsPajamas 
Now, with a program of recovery, I have check points. Instead of instantly reacting to something, I am able to think about it for a minute. I can call a recovery friend, I can ask myself if this situation is mine or is it really someone else's to handle. I can ask myself if I look back on this a year from now will it still be a big dang issue or just a blip?
I don't always do it right ... I can still find myself reaching for the fire extinguisher, but fortunately not as often. Most of the time, it's just not that important...
This is what I am finding so helpful for me. Learning to recognize what is my "thing" to deal with, what smaller number of those "things" are important, and what I can let go of, has been an eye opener for me. I had had no idea just how much I was taking on that was either not mine to own or not that important. It has improved my relationships with my sons, my friends and has saved me from no end of "stuff" that jsut wasn't mine to deal with.