(((((Bookwyrm)))))
Firstly, congratulations on getting free!!!
I remember when I first split up from the abf, he called me every day and every time I got off the phone I felt drained and upset. After a week or so, he stopped calling every day, it went down to maybe once a week, and now I don't speak to him very often at all, its only on a need to talk basis to sort out joint debts.
You are fresh from the battle so to speak at the moment, and so the wounds are still open. As time goes on you will feel stronger. The peace at home begins to be expected and the anxiety and panics of how it was disperse. This was how it was for me. When we first split I was still a bunch of nerves, the slightest noise would make me jump out of my skin, but after a few weeks my nerves got stronger.
Try to keep converstaions strictly business in nature, avoid being pulled into any thing that makes you uncomfortable. You are alright to say that you are not prepared to talk about this and that, or even to end the call if you feel it is getting off track - take care of you!
It is a slow process, I am still healing now 6 months later, and I cannot say when I will be healed fully, if I ever can be. However time does help, keep working your recovery, keep focused on what you need to do for you.
When you are ready to deal with things you will know. In the meantime, just keep being gentle with yourself, posting and reading.
Love and serenity to you
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx