cece

Hi SR friends,
Thank you again for all of your support when I asked regarding this issue. So I thought I would give you and update on how it all went.

Well as some of you know, I had a hysterectomy 4 weeks ago. The surgery ended up tougher than they thought as my uterus turned out to be the size of a football. My belly stuck out some but not that much! so we didn't know! ( They say it was tucked way back into my spine and pelvis area hence the backaches). Recovery has been slower and harder than I had thought or I guess hoped!

I had originally posted that my 22 year old AS wanted to come down and help me during my recovery and I was on the fence about it for many reasons most of them realized by all you on here. I wanted him here but I could not take any stress or problems that could follow him here.
I kept praying for the right decision and it seemed to lean towards giving it a try but being ready to kick him out if any boundaries weren't being met. He tries to have good intentions but it has ended up badly at times when he comes down here. It's hard for both of us to not talk about his life choices right now.

He came the day after I came home. And despite all my misgivings he has been a wonderful help. (I did not realize how tough this recovery was going to be.) He cooks and cleans. He has been a big help making sure I do nothing and anticipating what I might need so I don't do anything I shouldn't. He is actually a bit of an over-worrier but a wonderful care-taker.
I'm not completely surprised because he has a kind and good heart. I am just surprised that he could do it for so long without needing to hang-out with his friends where he could smoke pot and ?.
He did get his Drug and Alcohol classes completed down here. ( a part of his deferred sentence probation).
We have had fun and enjoyed each others company. We had a few heated debates but we both tried to keep that area of topic shutdown and we were mostly successful.

But I can tell the time is coming to an end. He is getting antsy to return to his lifestyle up there. I had hoped as usual that being away from it and seeing other possible choices would encourage him to look elsewhere. He did talk about different ideas and dreams that had nothing to do with Marijuana but in the end that's what he is going back to.
Yet, Its important to me that this visit ends positively. I have enjoyed what is best in my son, encouraged his positive dreams and will do my best to keep quiet as he heads back sometime next week or early the week after, because I know nothing I do or say will matter anyway and will just anger and isolate us both.
Its hard to watch but I have to. I know he's going back to a life that probably will get his parole revoked and if that happens he will have to do a bit of time but the biggest issue is a felony will then get on his record and so many doors will be closed on a very bright young man's future. But right now that's not an issue for him. Standing up for his belief that Marijuana isn't a drug and shouldn't be illegal is worth it to him.
But no one knows what tomorrow will bring and where he will go from here. He does have the brains and knowledge to do and make many choices.
And so do I. I can choose to worry about his going back or trust God to walk with him. So today I am choosing to be happy to have my son in my life. I am happy to have shared this time with him. It has been a gift so I'll take it as that.
Thank you for all of your support and encouragement even when I ignore your advice!! :praying
Cathy