Hi Nici,
I have a hard time subscribing to the notion that just because someone donated DNA that they have earned my respect. I refuse to tear my hair out trying to respect my dad. He was an alcoholic, womanizer and not much of a father. Now that does not mean I don't talk to him kindly and I keep in touch etc. but the only thing respect him for is getting sober. I have spent most of my life "trying to please" a person who cannot be pleased. He is much of the reason I am in the codependent world that I am.
As a result of having my feelings bashed a few too many times I don't hand out respect lightly...it has to be earned.
Now, about being responsible for your dad...that is not true. But I am sure you know that in your head...you also do not have to pick up the phone. You DO have a choice and until you get to a point where you can see that, he will continue to use and manipulate you.
My hope for you is that you get to that point. Stay here, find meetings, go to councelling...whatever your flavor. Your life can be much better than it is today. And the beauty part is that all you need is you to achieve that. Changing you changes everything!
Hugs,
JT