Here's a little tidbit of info
Halfbakedtiff, I am sorry to hear about your problems with your husband.
Here is something to think about, something that I have learned in my dealings with ex-AH and RAS, they have to want to get and stay clean on their own. In my experience, until they hit their bottom, whatever it is, there is nothing you can do except establish the limits you are willing to deal with and stick to them. Start going to meetings of Nar-anon and if he doesn't go to MC with you, go to counsiling on your own for your peace and healing of yourself. You, can only take care of you, they have to take care of themselves. That was the hardest thing I had to learn with my RAS. As a mother we are, by nature, tuned into taking care of our children. Anything that hurts them we are supposed to fix, but this is something that I couldn't do for him and that hurt so bad and made me feel quilty until I realized that the only way I could fix him was to fix me and let GOD take care of fixing him. That it was time to turn him over to a HP and so far that is what has worked, he went into treatment himself, has been clean now 80 days. He tried outpatient, but needed intensive inpatient and outpatient for him to do this.
So I guess what I am trying to say in my inadequate and long winded way is, you need to find a way to take care of and heal yourself and turn your AH over to a HP. Keep coming here, find a counselor, and find meetings to go to that will help you get to a better place yourself.
I will pray for you and send all the white light I can in your direction to help you get thru what you are going thru. Keep faith in yourself and the rest will work out.
Barb