Hi! I am also new to this post. I am just returning to the program after being gone for some years, but it is very surprising what actually sticks in your head!! I actually entered into the AA program with my first husband as he has an addiction/alcohol problem and since at the time he convinced me I had a problem (I drank on weekends as a teenager and at the time I was 18), I figured I would give it a shot. I was in it for 2 years before I realized that I belonged on the other side, that I did not have a drinking problem. Since then, I do drink on occasion, but maybe 3-4 drinks about 3 times a year, and do not enjoy the out of control feeling so I don't drink more than this. Anyways, I had a sponsor who was an alcoholic as well as a spouse of a recovering alcoholic who gave me strong insight into the disease itself. It helped me by going to meetings (AA, Alanon, ACOA) to uncover how the disease has affected my life. My parents are both not alcoholics, but both of their dads were, so I grew up having a dysfunctional home without the booze (I am very grateful as did have a great childhood). Well.. I guess my point is that these are all great places to go, and that I learned about how the disease is cunning, baffling and powerful- the disease causes them to be in denial of their illness and to be selfish, self- serving, and self-centered. It takes time to figure it out- I just know that the more you listen, the greater an understanding of it as a disease will be found. I'll pray for ya, girl!!