Thank you
Thank you for your kind and gentle replies. I have carefully read them and will continue to do so and try to take them on board emotionally.
Interestingly I tried to watch my thoughts without judgement yesterday, so I was surprised to see that echoed in one of the messages.
I think my reactions are sometimes caused by a state of denial. When my AH is on subs I can 'forget' that this is part of our relationship. I think I have been mistaking this denial for acceptance. When my AH tries to withdraw, I think it forces me to face reality once more. Therefore the advice about accepting things as they are is important for me to focus on, duringboth the calm times and the troubled ones.
I have also decided I want some counselling and/or healing for my own self esteem issues.
Thank you so much for listening and responding. Best wishes x