Although I'm sure many others will be along later to give you good ES&H, I just wanted to say something about going to AA meetings.
Make sure you go to an "open" meeting, which is for anyone (closed meetings are for alcoholics only). I'm sure, since you told the person your situation, the meeting they recommended is open.
I've heard many people here, who are the family members of alcoholics or addicts say they got a LOT from AA meetings....mostly hearing the A's say "getting the door shut in my face by ---- was the best thing that ever happened to me" because it was having to face a consequence.
Since I'm a recovering addict AND a recovering codie, the best thing I can tell you is the more you stay away from him, the better you'll be. The "what-if's" drove me crazy. I finally sat down and went through every singe one of them, thought each one through, and then figured out if there was anything I could REALLY do to prevent the what-if's...and found out there was not a darn thing I could do.
What if he dies? Well, if I were to keep enabling him and putting up with his stuff, he has no reason to change and may die SOONER (my thoughts). What if he finds someone else? He did, and pretty fast. She was ALSO an addict and they fed into each other's addiction. SHE got enough and I heard at one point was walking around the neighborhood with a butcher knife, looking for him because he'd stolen her dope and money (like he did with me). What if he never changes? He hasn't. He just got out of jail AGAIN and is still doing the same crap...and he's 49 years old!
Yes, I still hear about him from occasionally, from his nephew who is my friend. The nephew always tells me "Amy, I love him but I'm SO glad you got away from him". I have not seen or talked to him in a year..the last time I saw him was at his mom's funeral (wonderful lady, and I miss her dearly...she, too, told me "go your own way, girl....he's not gonna do you right"). It helps not talking to him or seeing him.
That's just how I dealt with detaching from him. Believe me, I went through the same feelings you are feeling now...it just takes time and baby steps, but those baby steps add up and each one makes you a little stronger.
Oh, and if he ever does get clean and get his act together? I can still be his friend, but no more. He's lied to me and stolen from me too many times. I do still love him, but I am no longer IN LOVE with him and it's a huge difference.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy