Originally Posted by
gravity 
I don’t miss the “party atmosphere” (I know, you don’t believe me
). When I think of that lifestyle, I think of my old drinking buddies still sitting in our favorite blues bar getting drunker & drunker, blacking out, trying to have fun at any cost, disrespecting others. Then the hangover, the morning drinks and right back at it. No, I don’t miss it. Very occasionally, I do get that “it would be nice to go out for a beer with the boys” feeling but it is fleeting and smashed with a good dose of reality. Is this denial?
For me, the bottom line is that I am enjoying sobriety, the recovery journey, and this lifestyle much more. I found my “sweet spot”.
hi gravity,
i am so glad you posted. i really respect your path and your revelations. your name is so confirming of your style. thank you for being here.
you know, its not denial. if i remembered the "party atmosphere" and with it came all the rest of it, like it does for you, and like it was when i was drinking, and my own early sobriety, and i "liked that", well, yup, i would have gotten drunk a very long time ago.
as the years of sobriety carried me along i changed with it. many things that botherd me in early sobriety no longer have the same effect. however, thinking of my drinking buddies would still effect me today the same way. as a matter of fact, some of them drank them selves to death. nothing to party there with.
"the party air" is the action, the excitement, the heart of it. the booze does not make the party. the people do. what i'm saying is once you get past all the booze the party is still there, rocking away happily everywhere people want to party. it took me years to take the booze out of that picture because i only knew the party air with booze and me in it welded together.
its different now. i can enjoy anything that any body else as a normal citizen would enjoy in a normal night out on the town. i no longer see people dying or hating or hiding, same as i didn't when i had to be drunk not to see it.
the world does not live in my head anymore, [lol] [and i'm not saying it lives in yours
] and i dont have to be drunk to party anymore, and eveybody with a drink in their hands is not a lost alcoholic in my thinking. of course i can never drink again.
no gravity, your not in denial, brother. your in reality, with the memories you still have coming up like they do. rock on.
so then though, my being able to choose not any more seeing what you see, and what i used to see, am i in denial?
Robby