He is once again calling me and asking me to please stick by him while he deals with this.
Addicts do that so well. It's part of "hooking" you back into their drama. Isn't it ironic that they don't need you while they are drinking/drugging but as soon as there is a problem (financial, legal, possible sobriety) the co-dep enabler is the one they turn to first?
I hope, Rosalinda, that because your BF is "calling you" that means you and he are not living together. And that could mean that it will be easier for you to break free.
"Co-dependent No More" by Melody Beattie and her second volume "Beyond Co-dependency" are two books which helped me understand why the relationship with XABF was far from "normal". As another poster here pointed out, nobody can define what "normal" is in a relationship because each relationship is unique to the couple. That said, we can usually recognize what is NOT NORMAL in a relationship when we start to examine our feelings....you know....when your partner implies that you are crazy for thinking the way you do, when everything you say gets turned around, when your partner lies and you excuse him/her for the umpteenth time, when you feel like you are walking on eggshells through life.
XABF and I were long distance. Breaking off was not easy but I did it (with the help of Melody Beattie and this forum!) because I finally realized that being on my own with myself held me 100% accountable for the misery I was feeling in my life. Another funny thing....once XABF and I broke off for good (NO CONTACT!!), most of the misery disappeared!
Your story about your BF helping himself to your Vicodin reminded me of similar incidents with XABF. That's a potent narcotic drug which you don't take when you are feeling ill unless it has been prescribed for you.