Hi and Welcome!
Just because you met him on e-harmony doesn't mean it's a healthy relationship. I met my ex on e-harmony. After 3 years together he confessed he was an alcoholic. I was shocked. I think to me e-harmony = healthy...not so.
No, relationships are not supposed to be this hard. I learned the hard way. You sound like you are getting to the point of hitting your bottom with him.
With my ex, the fights were excruciating. I can't totally blame him...I stayed, however, many of the things you are talking about are the same things we have all been through.
Think about what you want in all of this. It's hard, I know. I consumed myself with his needs and wants so much so that I forgot I existed. That is no way to live. We all deserve better.