To a degree, I can totally understand what you are going through. For years now I have dealt with an alcoholic family: parents, stepfather, three older brothers. It just seems to have gotten progressively worse with my brothers. I love them dearly and moved across country to be closer to my family; basically I've watched two of my brothers destroy themselves and their lives. There was a time (and this still pops up in my head once in a while) where I was SO sure I would find one of them dead. He can consume alcohol (I'm talking booze, not beer) like nothing I've EVER seen. It scares the crap out of me. When I first moved here, he would just party and drink beer. He is now drinking straight vodka, tequila, you name it, 24 hours a day. He's been in the hospital, lost jobs, and is ruining his health. Nevermind the lies, drama and ******** that go along with it. On top of all that, he is the most unselfish, gentle, wonderful person. His dependency has gotten completely out of control. I understand it is probably harder to deal with it when it's your boyfriend, and you live with him, but the feeling is the same. Believe me. And I know it can't be described until you actually experience it. I'll tell you this though: keep coming to the site, talk to people, read their words of wisdom. Although I've only considered going to an Al-Anon meeting and never actually did it, I have found it within myself to detach. It's very hard but so far so good. Of course I've had some assistance: being told to f*** off, being lied to, being screamed at, did I mention being lied to? These things helped me to see the level to which this has gone. Something inside me, after years and years, finally clicked: it's not you. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, you can't cure it. TAKE CARE of yourself
Aim