Lily: That is exactly how I'm feeling. I know it's the victim in me, and I know if he did apologize that I would put that big martyr hat on and go off about all the things he did wrong. I do need to forgive myself. I'm not there yet. Having a bad couple of days, but hopefully I can get back on track. It's really opened my eyes to how codie I really am. I never even knew that word existed until a few months ago. It still surprises me at how much I can relate to it and to everyone's experiences here. I never thought something like this could happen to me. Kind of hard to realize the reality of my life is much different than what I envisioned it to be.
Thanks to all for reaching out to me. I needed it (still do).