Originally Posted by
i4getsm 
.... it occurred to me that I NEED him to say he's sorry. I NEED him to try to come crawling back. It's not because I want him back (because I don't), but I HATE feeling like the one that was dumped. It should feel like I dumped him, but for whatever reason I don't feel that way. In my mind, I think this is one of the ways that I'm still validating my worth through him. I mean, if he doesn't want me, who will?
My last relationship ended nearly a year ago now and one of the last times I saw him I noticed after we'd broken up, he'd not given one thought to what I was doing or how I was.
I also noticed how he talked about how good it was that 'we' could have a conversation. Even now that irks me a bit cause the only reason we 'had' a conversation is that I sought him out. I went out of my way to see him. If I hadn't sought him out, there would've been no conversation.
I suspect it is going to take me a very long time to recover from seeking men to make myself feel better and/or worth while.
For what it's worth, I found it REALLY hard to let go of that relationship and spent most of Jan this year quoting the wart hog from the Lion King - You gotta put the past behind you....
