I really feel what your feeling. I think the scariest thing about how my life right now is the future. It cross's my mind everyday. I wish I had a crystal ball to see ahead...ya know we should really be happy about our new beginnings. Would we really want to go back and live like we were????? And his attitude probably isn't really what you see. It's what he wants you to see. My bet he is not feeling the greatest and he loves to see you crumble so...don't. I am a great believer in time being a healer so just hang tuff and dream about your new life and I will dream about mine ok? Hugs to you and stength to get thru the court thing.