thanks everyone
I don't know if I should hit the Post Reply button or use this Quick Reply space..hope this works.
CarolID, I have been reading the Substance Abuse Forum and found it extremely helpful. Thanks. I'll repost there too.
As for telling my doctor...I don't really have a primary care doc. I moved a lot and the guy I'm with now is one of those urgent care type facility doctors and to be honest, he's really only good for bronchitis or "simple" visits. There is no relationship there. I lost my insurance this year. I quit my job to write a book (that is being published) but work for my father right now while I job hunt. Obviously money is a factor. I also moved back to my home town and can't go back to the doc I used before. There is no such thing as confidentiality. People knew things about me that could only have come from the dr's office but there is no way to prove it.
I guess what I'm saying is there is no one besides my psycologist and to be honest...he just hands out meds. I don't trust him to not judge me or just give up on me...it happened so many times while I was being diagnosed with the TN before. Rare diseases (in small towns & especially if you are a woman) are written off as "hysteria" or "all in my head". I have had really unfortunate experience with doctors. That's why I thought going straight to an adictionologist or treatment facility would be my best bet.....?
KSplash,
I know that the sub is a powerful opiate and there seems to be some debate as to whether one can take their benzos or antidepresants while on it. I have NO DOUBT that I was born with a chemical imbalance that causes my depression and anxiety. People are simply not suicidal at 5yrs old for no apparent reason. So I know I need those meds. I do not want to give them up and I am afraid that that is what will be done if I seek an outpatient medical rehab treatment. Methadone is not an option... that scares the **** out of me. I was just wondering if anyone here had gone through something similar... Needing the antis and benzo's but needing to kick the opiates. Thanks.