I’m twenty and can’t speak as a parent because I’m not one, but as an individual who believes life is determined by what you say and do and not how many words you speak or years you’ve lived, *and* as a daughter:
To have sustained a relationship with your child and be a part of their life you’ve already succeeded in so many ways. That’s something to be proud of. I say that ‘cause me and my parents never got that far. Whether your kids appreciate, or are willing to admit they appreciate, that right now...they will eventually.
One of your kids is about to graduate? Well while that is their achievement, it is also yours because your kid themselves is your achievement, yet another reason to smile and be proud (of yourself and your kid).
Wow, you want to spend time with your kid and value the importance of that...that’s good parenting. And congrats’ on your work and educational achievements. I hope I can put the work in to have them too someday
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My partner is also is some sort of denial. He’s pinning gear daily, and for a long time it enabled me to do the same, but I’m finally embracing what you have already realised: I am not a victim and I have choices. That’s something you can teach your kid through being honest about your problems. I really respect that.
I just wanted to say thank you for posting to me, and listening to my story, and I wish I’d had a parent who thought how you do, and saw their kids as a reason to try and better themselves. When I really needed my ‘rents to be there it wasn’t that I wanted them to be perfect. Them being honest with me wouldn’t have made them weak in my eyes, it would’ve made me have so much respect and given me the courage to do the same. Seeing them avoiding their problems didn’t make me think they were strong, it made it easy for me to do the same and made me angry because I couldn’t reach them. I could identify with them, but only through the negative and eventually our relationship just disappeared completely. I really respect what you’re doing to support and be honest with your kid. I sort of envy it too, but whether your kid appreciates that now or not...they will.
Thanks once again!