borntobechild

Hi everyone. It sure seems like a nice group of folks here.

I'm in my late forties and have had several drinks a night since I started drinking at 22. My moment of truth is about up--I KNOW I can't keep being such a bad role model for my kids.

One is about to graduate and we are going off abroad together for a graduation present. This is my last chance to show him that I'm someone who can be looked up to. I've got to get this out of my system before I leave. There is nothing like a road trip to really learn about someone. He sees me as mostly functional due to work and educational success but I'm sure he suspects I have a problem. A couple of weeks on the road with no privacy will remove all doubt.

I quit once two years ago for seven weeks and I did have ONE night a few weeks ago without a drink (whoopee). My point is that I don't think I'm risking my life or anything as far as withdrawals tonight but I am really dreading this. I'm two hours past the point where I would have had about three glasses of wine. I'm edgy but not going nuts. A BIG problem is that my wife is in the same boat but is in denial. (I think this might be why she doesn't want to go on a trip of a lifetime with us.) This makes for a great enabling situation but I'm not a victim...these are my choices...

Aw heck...I'm just rambling...

If any kind folks would check in with me from time to time that would help give me incentive to stay sober--I don't like to let others down--even strangers...

I'm very afraid my kids might repeat my example if I don't nip this in the bud.

Thanks again for reading this and considering to check in with me--either by this thread or a direct message thru SR.

Thanks again,

God bless...

P.S. I’ll be checking in while on the road so please feel free to encourage me. I’d be happy to return the favor if needed.