First, I want to say thank you to all of you for taking the time to respond. I have been in such turmoil and desperation the last 4 days, and I was comforted by your kindness.
I wanted to answer FormerDoormats question about how my family knows what's going on. It's pretty simple really, some of it I've shared over the years, and some of it they have heard from my daughter. Of course, most of what they have heard from her has been twisted or conveniently incomplete.
I have to be honest, I did not realize the extent of the problem. My husband and I have had some serious issues with our homebuilder, and we were forced to move out of our home, due to construction defects 9 mos ago. With trying to find somewhere to live and the financial stress, it was much easier for her to hide things from me. I'm not making excuses. It is what it is, and I feel like an idiot for not seeing all the lies, and for not realizing my family was never going to get it.