Originally Posted by
needtolearn 
[...] Then I thought, 'What a COMPLETE COWARD he is! But of course he is, he has the emotions of a 15 year old on a good day! What a cowardly piece of S@#T he is! [...]
Several days after my XASO devastated me and told me she wanted me out, she told me how she had battled with the decision for a long time before telling me. As I took that in and pondered it for a while, I thought about our conversations about her military experiences in the USAF, and the trust they developed with each other in the unit. I remembered their rule, almost sacred, never to abandon your battle buddy. And I thought, OMG, you went into battle for the very life of our relationship without your battle buddy! And who is it who abandons their battle buddy? A COWARD, pure and simple. And at that thought, I felt some anger come on board, and it felt good to have that energy to get me through the day.
This is making me sob and sob all over again...
It takes courage to look inside and know the depths of your heart, it takes courage to feel your feelings, it takes courage to share your mind and soul with another, it takes courage to open to pain and ask for help. I pray every day for the courage to live with that level of honor towards myself, and those around me. Although sometimes difficult, it is always rewarding in the end.