I can relate to the roller coaster emotions. In my experience it was the worst right after I hit my codie bottom as my emotions were swinging wildly.
For me recovery has been a process not a single event. My addiction to my XAH and obsession with his business is an on going issue. Now 9 months into my recovery I am able to separate and detach a bit more. I do still have moments when I go completely off the deep end such as when I discovered some shockingly inappropriate behavior on his part which pushed my abandonment button. However, instead of my response completely being my old sick codie ways I realized what was happening and reached out for help from my F2F alanon friends and posted here.
I intentionally do things to help me fight the addiction to him. I pray, I visualize myself in God's hands being well taken care of and loved, I do not drive by his house, call, or email because that just brings me grief, I accept that having any expectations of him will hurt me. So I picture him as a complete stranger and that helps me accept this (we were married 18 years and he truly is a stranger to me now as his behavior is odd to say the least).
I also attend counseling and go to alanon.