Why, you ask Stronger?
BECAUSE we're touchy, feely women. It's who we are, it' where we live. Plus, we're human, and we have these things called HORMONES.
I've been silently following your dillema, your post as well. Part of what you mentioned, is that you were, um..."wanting".
Now that I related to. I long for his delicious kisses, I long for him to hold me, HELL, I long for the phone to ring again, let alone the physical, and the good emotions that came with him.
BUT what I don't long for, is the drunken calls, the worrying about everything I say or do driving him to drink, the botched dates (He ruined my Memorial Day weekend, and a month later, a simple Saturday out of window shopping, lunch, and a movie. What kind of weirdo loser sabotages that?!?). I don't long for the insomnia from being upset with him, and the subsequent sleepiness the next day, the dizziness from messed up brain chemistry, depression, nausea, anxiety.
Those emotions and symptoms, I can SOOO do without.
I appreciate how honest you've been, even though you've made the same mistakes a couple of times. But you finally learned, like I had to finally learn the hard way. It sucks, huh?
Let's support each other's post. Keep in touch hon, and most of all, think of your child. They follow your example. As I've said a billions times, I'm an ACOA, I can tell you the effects that has on you when you are 36 years old, and you are STILL being affected by stuff growing up in that. Protect yourself, protect your child, and as I've learned this weekend DON'T GET HURT. You can protect yourself. DON'T GET HURT.