Originally Posted by
steve11694 
For the wife ashamed of her husbandsdrinking trying to hide/cover up, shame/embarrass hem believing he will change.
You hit the nail right on the head there Steve. I spent years trying to shame and embarrass my husband into getting sober. I was so angry about what he was "doing to us" that I took every opportunity to disparage him, often in front of the children. I became someone I didn't even like. And I probably made things worse by piling a bunch more shame onto someone with a disease based on self-loathing. I don't think my bottom and subsequent desire to change myself had much to do with him. It had more to do with hating the person I had become.
L