I was trying to figure out why you were wondering what to say if your AH comes back out and is obviously drunk in front of everybody, since you've said they all know he's alcoholic.
Is it because, even you aren't responsible for his drinking or behavior and your family and his are aware of that too, that you simply don't want him embarrassing you in front of them ?
That I could Totally identify with......he's an embarrassment to himself....and to you in front of others.
I don't know if I guessed right or not.....
A few months ago, my AH was part of a group of guys who entered a BarBQ contest and this huge parking lot was full of everyone setting up their stuff the night before.
Some cooking the night before.
AH rode his motorcycle there the night before and called me to come get him cause he'd "had a few".
So I go down there,......and all in his group are drinking beers....it's about midnight by this time.
A guy with a trailer and a big barrel pit set up was parked right next to AH's group. This other guy had his 2 sons with him who were about 15 and 17/18.....The dad (his sons) and his adult friends were NOT drinking.
Even though AH's friends were all drinking beer, AH was the only one who was not capable of talking without a variation of the F word coming out of his mouth every 4th or 5th word....AH's friends were nowhere near as foulmouthed as AH.
I was mortified because the guy parked next to us and his friends and sons could hear most of what AH was saying.
I had to wonder what AH's own friends were thinking.
They were not stumbling drunk but were well under the influence......but none had the MOUTH on them that AH had.
I would have liked to wiggle my nose like Samantha and have them all forget either that I knew AH at all.......or just make them forget his unfortunate vocabulary.
Have I been embarrassed in public by AH's behavior and words while drunk ?
Yes......on several occasions last fall.
One of his friends and his wife came to me shortly after one of these times and said they noticed how rude (verbally) he was to me and they were sorry that I was having to deal with that..........and they didn't like seeing him act that way toward me......they also saw him in a parking lot on another occasion being exceptionally rude to me AND his mom out in a parking lot another time, and were alarmed that he spoke to his mom the way he did....I mean spouses get the brunt of it.....but talking to your MOM like he was is just pathetic.
She'd said some things before it all moved to the parking lot, that were out of line to be said in public....BUT.....regardless !.....you still don't talk like that to your Mom in Public !!
He then rode off on his motorcycle and I was amazed he didn't cause a crash and kill himself or someone else before he got home.
He did apparently make one stop somewhere that he forgot about sober....and they called a friend of his to tell him he left his leather vest there.
Idiot.
But it Was nice to have that couple acknowledge his sad behavior and offer their sympathy to me.
Both gave me their cell #s and said to call them if he ever "got out of line".
I still have the numbers.