Parenting our parents
That's me in a nutshell. Especially my Mum. It has taken a HUGE effort on my part to stop doing this.
If my mum has a problem (and like yours) it is usually to do with my Dad I don't take it on board. She's been leaving him for as long as I can remember but has never actually left. If I turn up to my parents house and they have been fighting, I leave pretty quickly before one of them tries to get me 'on side' too.
I am an alcoholic but god didn't just strike me down with soberity. I had to provide the willingness. Your parents will change if they want to. And if they don't want to, they won't. They will sort it out between themselves or they will live crazy lives till the day the day. But what ever the outcome, you can lead a full and happy life.
I know as an ACOA, I love to fix things up and I also like to buy into the idea that it is 'because of me' people do or don't do things. The idea that they will or won't because of themselves is a strange to me but it is the truth.