Strongerwoman, I get it too. My therapist says living with addicts makes us crazy--makes us doubt ourselves--and you are in the throes of the crazy-making.
In the end, going through your AH's things only hurts you. Unless, that is, is helps you to dismiss his sweet-talk and refocus on yourself and your needs.
No one who has lived with an A has always put the needs of their child(ren) first. It's an insidious process that leads us to leave or seek help, and you seem to me to be getting stronger.
Ignore the quacking, keep on with your journey. You deserve much, much more.
((((hugs))))