Originally Posted by
loner1968 
I have a question though. Why would the courts say it's ok for him to have one beer? Why is it so important for him to have one beer? What good is one beer to an A? It seems silly and useless to even have that in the document. Is there something I am missing?
Initially, the separation agreement read no alcohol for either of us while with the kids. 7 years ago he was in a horrendous car accident involving drugs, alcohol and a loaded gun (I still feel funny telling people that because we are an upper middle class family and to me his behavior reeks of skid row bum!). He nearly died yet denied the toxicology report and said those things can be wrong (I wonder what he thinks when he looks at the prosthetic limb he must wear because of drinking and driving?). The police visited the hospital several times and our home once to discuss charges etc. When XAH showed up at court for the first hearing the charges had been "mysteriously" dropped with the explanation that the arresting officer had resigned and all the paperwork was lost. Because of that XAH did not have a DUI on his record and he was/is a high functioning A using his best manipulative techniques to get what he wants. Having the clause in the separation agreement about no drinking infuriated AH and he was dragging his feet as hard as he could to stop the divorce. It was unbelievable to him that anyone could tell him not to drink. He even said, "I deserve to be able to drink."
In order to get XAH to sign I had to give in to the one beer thing or spend 1000's of dollars more, I didn't have on the lawyer. Ridiculous I know but because he had no documented alcohol problems I was stuck. However, now that it is in the decree something can be done about the drinking, hopefully before anyone gets physically hurt. Maybe my XAH thought he was outsmarting me and declaring "I can do whatever I damned well please." but I think my HP had something else in mind altogether.