It's done
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 646
It's done
I did it, and am now divorced. Oh boy, has it been a long 22 months from my hitting my bottom, and 10 months since I filed for divorce. Had my hearing today and like Barbara52 said it was an in and out, over in 10 minute deal. I was nervous but imagined myself surrounded by all my family, friends, alanon people and cyber friends from here. That helped a lot. I prayed my HP would show me what to do and hold my hand and next thing I knew I was divorced and on my way. And I didn't cry...actually felt a big relief and some joy creeping in.
Now that the decree is official, and XAH agreed in said decree to have only 1 beer while with the kids (I wanted zero...but you all know how A's are), and the kids have reported that is not being followed, I now have legal recourse. All my lawyer wants is a letter from the kids' therapist documenting what the kids saw.
I am so grateful for Alanon and this group.
Now that the decree is official, and XAH agreed in said decree to have only 1 beer while with the kids (I wanted zero...but you all know how A's are), and the kids have reported that is not being followed, I now have legal recourse. All my lawyer wants is a letter from the kids' therapist documenting what the kids saw.
I am so grateful for Alanon and this group.
You have come an incredibly long way, Chrysalis! Keep fighting the good fight for those precious kids. You will all be just fine, and perhaps one day their father will see that he truly does have a problem and will want to change. I'm just so darn happy for you
Chrysalis
(((hugs)))
I know it's a painful transition you've been going through - but now you are truly on the other side of something that took a lot of courage and strength to get through!
Prayers and good luck for your continued peace of mind.
B.
(((hugs)))
I know it's a painful transition you've been going through - but now you are truly on the other side of something that took a lot of courage and strength to get through!
Prayers and good luck for your continued peace of mind.
B.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 282
Congratulations on your steps forward. I have a question though. Why would the courts say it's ok for him to have one beer? Why is it so important for him to have one beer? What good is one beer to an A? It seems silly and useless to even have that in the document. Is there something I am missing?
Chrysalis, hugs and love to you hunny, it has been a hard journey, but brighter times are ahead for you now.
I don't know who started it but ''the rain has gotta fall for the flowers to grow''!
Keep moving forward, and take care of your kids. I hope you can enforce these rules with your ex with the courts.
Love to you all
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :ghug3
I don't know who started it but ''the rain has gotta fall for the flowers to grow''!
Keep moving forward, and take care of your kids. I hope you can enforce these rules with your ex with the courts.
Love to you all
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :ghug3
Hi
Is it possible the judge himself/herself is an alcoholic ?...and/or your ex's atty. an alcoholic ?
That might explain how it got changed to one beer instead of zero.
I hope your legal recourse is swift !
That might explain how it got changed to one beer instead of zero.
I hope your legal recourse is swift !
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 646
In order to get XAH to sign I had to give in to the one beer thing or spend 1000's of dollars more, I didn't have on the lawyer. Ridiculous I know but because he had no documented alcohol problems I was stuck. However, now that it is in the decree something can be done about the drinking, hopefully before anyone gets physically hurt. Maybe my XAH thought he was outsmarting me and declaring "I can do whatever I damned well please." but I think my HP had something else in mind altogether.
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