I think as loved ones of addicts we walk a finer line between love and hate than most people. We feel strong love for them but at the same time immense hate and anger for what they are doing. We jump in their defense in a matter of seconds even though defending them doesn't make a whole lot of sense when we know they are hurting us.
I came here just as confused. I loved him one minute...the undying kind of love but then the next minute I hate him but don't anyone dare say anything bad about him. I was a walking contradiction of words, emotions and behaviors. Boy that was a lot to work through on my part.
It is hard to see things clearly when your in the midst of someone else's addiction.
You seem to have a one dimensional purpose for this thread...you want a specific answer to your question...but lucky for me and lucky for you the folks on this site are not one dimensional kinds of people. They may not give you exactly what you want but they will give you what you need. So, please listen carefully to what everyone is saying to you because they all say it with a whole lot of love.
I don't think there is one person here who doesn't get it that you love your husband and you're not ready to leave yet and don't even know if that is even an option you will ever utilize. Which is okay, that is your choice and your choice alone to make. No one has to live your life but you.
Not following through on your boundaries is like the boy who cried wolf. After a while no one would believe that you mean what you say. You tried giving him boundaries but then he reverted back. Would you allow your child that leisure? If you told your child "No" wouldn't you mean "No" and stick to it? It's the same concept. So, it is doubly important to dish out a boundary that you know you can keep. It can't be something where you would have no answer if your husband retorts back "yeah, so what are you going to do about it?" Mean it and then Do it.
And yes, it is considered child endangerment, according to the law. I'm not going to get on a soap box about this but just one question......can you honestly, whole heartedly say you don't feel endangered and you don't feel your child is endangered because of his use?