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What if he od's and dies in my bed?

Old 06-25-2008, 07:49 AM
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Question What if he od's and dies in my bed?

Its been a while since I have been here but here goes nad I hope someone has an answer for me as I am really scared this time and dont know what to do.

My husband snorts 80mg of Oxycontin every week and I worry that he will od and die in my bed and I will wake up and find him dead and my son sleeps with us!!! This is VERY scary to me and I need advice.

What is the first thing I do if this happens? Do I call the police or get my son out of hte house first? Do I try to find all the drugs he has hidden in the house so I dont het charged with drugs? I jsut dont know what to do at this point and need help badly, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 06-25-2008, 08:09 AM
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The first thing I would do is make sure that he does NOT sleep in my bed, especially if your son is there. Let him sleep on the couch when he's using.
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Old 06-25-2008, 08:28 AM
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ok

so what if he od's and dies on the couch then? I know it sounds morbid but this is my reality and I really need help!!

Thank you!:praying:praying
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Old 06-25-2008, 08:30 AM
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Then you call 911 and get your son out of the house. Or...you could just leave the marriage while he's using.
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Old 06-25-2008, 08:48 AM
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what about....

all the drugs and the paraphanelia tha the hides all over the house, do I need to get rid of that stuff first before I call the cops? Did I mention that he has Hep C and he is not very healthy so this is another factor that plays i my worrying about this all the time and he always tells me that you cant od on oxycontin alone that you have to mix it with alcohol or xanax or something like that to od and die which is total BS as far as I am concerned....I am a nurse I should know better!
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Old 06-25-2008, 08:51 AM
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I agree with suki. If you do not want your son exposed to your husband while he is using, you need to leave the marriage.
This situation isn't healthy for anyone involved. Not for your husband for obvious reasons. Not for you because you are really scared that something bad is going to happen and not for your son because these are his formative years.
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Old 06-25-2008, 08:55 AM
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When we choose to stay married to an addict, unfortunately we also choose to accept this very real possibility. If its not something we are willing to accept, then we must remove ourselves from the situation. I think you already know the answer to this one....
How old is your son? Are you willing to take the chance of him possibly finding his father before you do? I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. I wish I could give you the answers, I wish someone had the answers for me.( I am also still married to and living with my AH. ) Hang on there, and take care of YOU and that precious BABY. :ghug3
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Old 06-25-2008, 08:59 AM
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I am just VERY scared of many things right now and I have tried to leave but I am in the process of finishing my masters degree in nursing and have no help from family and he is a good father most of the time so I am confused and he always tells me that he cant live with out my son so it makes me wonder if maybe he would commit suicide and I basically jusdt feel so trapped in this life-IT SUCKS!
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Old 06-25-2008, 09:05 AM
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sweetie, he obviously CAN live without your son, because when he's high he isn't really there! Sorry, but I'm a recovering crack addict and when we addicts are high, we are emotionally unavailable to anyone.

As far as if he dies, do you get rid of the drugs/parephenalia? That's tampering with evidence. And yes, you will be charged for endangerment of a child because your child is allowed to be around someone who is using drugs. My friend just did a year in prison for this.

I'm sorry to be harsh, and I'm even more sorry you are going through this. But if you read some of the other posts around here, you'll see that a lot of people here are going through the same thing, and you are not alone.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 06-25-2008, 09:14 AM
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How would I be charged with child endangerment when I dont ever really know what he is doing because he lies so freaking much? Has anyone ever been in the situation before where your spouse died and you had to call 911? what happened when you did?
thanks again!
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Old 06-25-2008, 09:34 AM
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I was just going by what you said..you said he has drugs and stuff hidden all over the house and would you need to get rid of it if he dies...if you KNOW he has stuff in the house, then it's not hidden.

I just know me...if my spouse died of an OD in the bed and I had to call 911, I would slip and say "I TOLD him this was going to happen!!!!"...thereby admitting I knew he was doing it. I would also be very worried about my child finding something he has hidden.

I hope it doesn't come to that. I've been on both sides of addiction...as the addict and the one who walked away from 3 alocholics/addicts. It's a nasty thing, no matter which side you're on.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 06-25-2008, 09:38 AM
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Old 06-25-2008, 09:47 AM
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State Statutes

You can find your state's statutes on child welfare at that link.
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Old 06-25-2008, 09:52 AM
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I get confused when I hear someone say “I live in fear that he will OD in front of my child” then they follow it up with “he is a good father most of the time”

HOW CAN THAT BE????

You ask how can you be charged with child endangerment……

You knowingly subject your child to an active addict on a daily basis.
You knowingly have drug paraphernalia and drugs hidden in your home

Do you ever leave your child alone with your husband?

IS the lack of help from family because of HIS drug use?

You’re a nurse going for her masters, your smart but codependent and that is keeping you and your child in a very unsafe, frustrating and dangerous situation.

When someone dies at home from a drug overdose, it’s pretty clear that the police rule it suspicious and will investigate and that investigation will include you and your place of employment.
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Old 06-25-2008, 10:01 AM
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I have set boundries in the past but to no prevail he keeps overstepping them. I have told him that NO drugs be in our house and he cooperates for a while then slowly slips back into his old ways. My son is not in danger, my husband keeps all his drugs and paraphanelia locked in an outside closet behind our house so it is safe from my son. My husband is not that stupid, I have told him over and over that eventually I will leave him if he does not get help and he mistakenly thinks he can do it on his own and hte one day he will jsut quit-that is the biggest line of BS i have ever heard.
I cannot financially leave him at this point as I am still working on my education and I jsut pray nothing happens to him in the meantime!

:praying
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Old 06-25-2008, 10:03 AM
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Boundaries are worthless if they aren't held in place.
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Old 06-25-2008, 10:30 AM
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You have told him over and over again that you will leave if he does not get help!!!!

You are still there.....

And he is still using........

suki44883 said it best.....Boundaries are worthless if they aren't held in place.
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Old 06-25-2008, 12:19 PM
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Heya bumtwo--

My husband is not that stupid

OK.

But he is not working with a sane clean brain like you are. All of our alcoholics/addicts are wonderful people, brilliant, loving, sweet, etc EXCEPT they are held hostage by their addiction. They "make" stupid decisions because of their addiction. They "stupidly" choose drugs or alcohol over people EVERY time. So, his intelligence or lack thereof has nothing to do with anything. This is a progressive disease, as you know, and they stop being able to keep track and keep it all together over time.

My question is what are YOU thinking? Wishing and praying that nothing happens until you get your masters doesn't make it so. It's dangerous. It's also kind of using him isn't it?

Not trying to be harsh, but the BEST and safest and most secure feeling in the world is when we face reality and own our own behavior/situation 100%. Because from there we have power to change the things we can. It won't be easy but it will be worth it.
peace,
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Old 06-25-2008, 12:26 PM
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no I love my husband and I DO NOT feel that I am using him AT ALL, I jsut keep waiting and hoping that he will get clean because hemeans so much to my son and myself. I sadly feel that the time is coming near where I will just have to buck up and deal with the painful process of divorce and that is a reality before something really bad happens.
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Old 06-25-2008, 12:31 PM
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Hey, I just realized you said 80mg A WEEK.... Thats only a couple pills. My AH could do that several times a day. Are you sure thats right? I mean no amount is a good amount, dont get me wrong, but Im thinking hes not gonna OD on 80mg A week.
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