I just wanted to thank all of you for helping me....
I called a girlfriend tonight, and made plans to go out this week....
Part of my problem also is that i tend to worry tremendously...I am so worried about my future and how i will deal with things financially.
I think I will have a talk with my therapist on wednesday and tell her that i just want to work on me, and not even talk about my marriage and him for a while...I need to find out what I can do to make myself happy again..i know i am happier when i have friends and have things to do...I know I am happier when I am NOT working fulltime...even though it keeps my mind off of things, I have too many responsibilities at home that I have to take care of and dont have time to do. So, I think by cuttting my hours and working part time, i have taken care of that..if i do seperate or divorce from my ah, if i have to work full-time, i'll figure it out then..but why do it now, when it makes me so unhappy....??? OR am I just not being responsible and taking care of myself financially??
I am tired of being depressed....sick and tired of it...to hell with him....I need to fgure out what I can do for me-- I hope i can keep this attitude---i found more residue in his office upstairs tonight, and that must made me feel like killing him----
I have to detach, I have to keep coming here, and taking care of myself because guess what?? I do not deserve this craziness--i donot deserve to be lied to in my marriage...and i do not deserve to have him throw lame onto me for HIS issues!!!!!
AMEN!!!!!