four812

thanks for the reminder. and for me this is something that I am starting to GET. starting to internalize. and i'm newly understanding it intellectually and practicing it at the same time. i remember hearing this said perhaps a few times in treatment, but I couldn't relate.

your post helps me feel stronger that I am on the right path for ME. that I am getting it. I am really doing something different in my recovery today. so many times after a relapse people have asked me "what are you going to do different this time?"

and I would develope a new thing, or add a new twist to my recovery. and then get all excited and think that I had finally gotten it. but each new different thing wasn't a whole lot different. there was some good new ideas, but not different.

this realizing and knowing that i am not my emotions is new. this NOTICING what my feelings even are, and THEN just letting them sit in me so that I can feel them is new and different. I have been practicing this for over a month now. I am getting it--the ability to know and feel my feelings.

it almost sounds silly to me--talking about feeling my feelings....like it also sounds silly to look at myself in the mirror each morning and say "i love you". I still feel uncomfortable doing that one...not that i've tried many times.

I dont know if I will stay clean. but i am hell-bent upon staying clean TODAY. I am doing a good job creating my own rehab center right in the middle of my life.

thanks for listening