I was lost too. I avoided old friends and most family (healthy people) because although they knew of my son's addiction, they had no clue of the hell and chaos that had become our "normal" life. My choice of new friends was poor, until I found recovery and learned to discern the difference between healthy relationships and toxic ones.
Today I choose more wisely, have let some old relationships fade into the past and my current friends are all healthy, and not all are in any recovery program at all.
I'm okay with my choices, life is good, and my close friends today know all about me, accept my life and who I am and are people I can trust.
I am no longer a martyr, no longer a victim. Today I am a survivor living in the solution and loving every moment of it.
Hugs