It is so easy how lost I have become with my own feelings. I can only feel trapped to stay in a marriage that has lost so much due to addiction. I know if it wasn't for my kids, I would have left. I guess I had to become numb so that I didn't feel the pain or the lonliness. Even now, I know that I continue to stay numb. Letting Go is hard I think because I have to "Find" that part of me that the "craziness" replaced. When I Detach, even though I do it lovingly, makes me realize how crazy this relationship is. I feel this part, the numbness, putting my own needs last,... has made me "lost". I know that all that I need is within me. I continue to try to find that. Does this even make sense?!
Thanks for your post and reminding me!