Need some help with My recovery
So you guys have all been immensely helpful these last few days as I let my SO get serious with her recovery and give her the space she needs. It is still absolutely killing me to not be with her and around her and I still just want to call her and race over to her house and be with her, but as you guys have said, that would not be helping her at this point.
So I guess my questions are the following (and forgive the convoluted nature of this post..)
1. What exactly do you mean by "my recovery" - is this the idea of recovering from needing her or wanting her? OR is it more trying to understand what she is going through? I am going to an Al Anon mtg. tomorrow night, and ordered one of the books reccomended, but as of yet am not really sure how to start or tackle this.
2. How do I deal with the following: in the past, after a "normal" breakup, I was usually OK, even if "dumped", b/c it was closure, and I could just compartmentalize it and move on. This situation (us apart as she tries to get better and the total not knowing/fear that we may or may not get bck together) scares the hell out of me. I am finding that uncertainty really terrifying, and the lack of control I have over it really really tough.
3. Being that she never once wronged me, it is hard to move on. It is not like any part of our realtionship was something I didnt like, so it is hard to even kind of be glad that we are apart. I just miss her terribly. Any tips on this?
4. I know only she can recover. But, at the very least, what should someone who at least wants to "up the odds" of someday getting back together do to make that a reality. ON my end, what should I do - I am thinking the following: Al Anon, maybe check out some AA meetings, read up on all of it and be ready when (I hope) she calls again at some point. How does this sound? Any other tips?
5. Finally - I feel guilty that I never did so much of the above before. She may have been doing her recovery "half-assed", but I now realize that I was only doing my part "half assed" as well. Bums me out.
Sorry this was long, but any tips on any of these questions would be great. I CAN NOT TELL YOU how good it is to have your guys help.
Thanks so much....