I am a married alcoholic. Between my husband and I, we have 5 daughters and 3 son-in-laws, all of whom drink in our house. My husband has an occasional beer, maybe 2 or 3 over the course of a weekend, never on weekdays. I'm just now trying to regain sobriety; however, it has nothing to do with anyone else drinking in my home. It's all stress related from an outrageous amount of company every w/e. We have an agreement -- if his or anyone else's drinking bothers me the slightest little bit, all alcohol will immediately be banned from the house and he will immediately quit drinking. As long as it isn't an issue for me, it's allowed. So far, it's worked well. The company-related stress I experience is now being banned as well. We're reorganizing the way our family "uses" me for 3 meals a day every weekend, etc. Perhaps you and your wife can come up with similar solutions to help you! Good luck!